The Sphinx is Not Amused
by AelianaSagitta
Summary: Thanks to a unique belief among the people of Corinth, Oedipus takes a slightly different tack than one might expect when confronted with the riddle of the Sphinx of Thebes.


"_Should a mortal by his cleverness persuade a sphinx to become his wife, he shall forever be freed from any doom that was upon him."_

This is a belief we have in Corinth. Hera set the Sphinx at Thebes with instructions to kill all who cannot solve her riddle; but we worship Poseidon above Hera. He has been at odds with her since the rule of the city Argos was given her despite his protests. Because all cities by the sea have the especial notice of Poseidon, who now loves to foil his sister's designs, we cannot believe that he would allow his worshipers in Thebes to suffer under the Sphinx's gaze without hope of relief. Yet still they wait for the man who can solve the riddle.

Oedipus resheathed his newly cleaned sword and sighed. He had never killed a man before, but this one had almost run him over with his chariot.

"I'm sorry about this, but there was no reason for you to try to trample me just because Thebes and Corinth have different right-of-way laws!" he informed the corpse. A lone figure, who had jumped out of the chariot when its driver spurred his horse on Oedipus, was now disappearing down the road.

"Well, I wanted to go to Thebes anyway, and it's in the opposite direction from wherever he's going. I guess I'll have to leave you —" Oedipus bent to swipe the man's purse "— but I'll take this. You won't be needing it." Stuffing the pouch (pleasantly full of gold) inside his own in case anyone in Thebes might recognize it, the newly branded murderer continued his journey.

The road was hot and rocky, and the sun glared on the white stones that peeked through the grass on either side of the highway. Oedipus squinted into the horizon as he walked; finally Thebes rose into view. "For such an important city, there's a surprising lack of traffic." Except for himself and an implausibly chubby bird, no living being disturbed the peace of this road. He came to a place that was wider and better paved, with a stone wall jutting out of the earth to divide the highway into two lanes, one for approaching Thebes and one for leaving it. "So this is what that insolent charioteer meant by 'keeping to my side,'" he realized belatedly.

The top of the wall moved. Oedipus, who had been walking down the center of the road as a prince should, stopped short in astonishment as a head flanked by two unruffling wings rose to look at him. The fierce female face made even him uncomfortable; but the two lion's paws that draped forward over the wall's edge were too much. He took a step back.

"You are the first traveler to break my rest in weeks," she said coldly.

Oedipus gulped. "Sphinx?"

"Yes, I am a sphinx. I am also very hungry. Therefore, I will now ask you a riddle, which you may answer once. You will guess incorrectly, and I will eat you."

"What idiot made you the official greeter for Thebes? Is this how you address everyone?"

"It was when there was anyone to address. The Delphi road was the most well-traveled highway into Thebes when Hera placed me here. Now the oracle warns travelers of my presence, and no one enters the city or leaves it by this road. Why do you think I am so hungry?"

"I imagine Apollo is not Hera's favorite dinner guest at the moment," Oedipus said dryly.

"Whose company pleases Hera for dinner is of no consequence to me. I am concerned only with _my_ dinner, which would be you; and frankly, the less wit my meals fling at me, the better I like them. Here is my riddle: What goes upon four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three in the evening?"

"Just one answer?"

"Yes, thank Zeus. Take your time. I shall be sharpening my claws; they tend to grow dull when I sleep too long."

Oedipus stood and thought for a moment. Then he began to pace, a lordly swagger with exaggerated hints of mock contemplation. "Do you have anything to eat besides travelers?"

"You do not seem properly concerned about your fate," retorted the Sphinx.

"Don't you even want to know my name before you eat me? I know your name, but it's not really decent to eat people without a proper introduction on both sides."

"I do not care what your name is!"

"I'm Oedipus, prince of Corinth, and delighted to have met you."

The Sphinx raised a supremely scornful eyebrow. "Your name, Oedipus, means Swollen Foot. You are repulsive even for a mortal."

"I do wish my parents had picked a better name. They told me I had an accident as a child —"

"— This conversation is of no interest to me —"

"— but there are so many more impressive things to be known for. My commanding presence, for example. Or they could have named me for the prophecy that I'm currently trying to avoid."

"You, a mortal man, think you can flee your prophesied fate? Your folly grows by the moment."

"Maybe you shouldn't eat me, then; I might infect you." He gave her a teasing grin.

"Answer the riddle, fool, before I teach you to hope for a swift death."

"You can't eat me unless I get the answer wrong, though, isn't that right? So technically we could keep getting to know each other for a while."

"I may not kill you until you have failed my riddle, but there are no restrictions on what I may do to one who refuses to answer."

"I see." Oedipus lowered his shoulders like a willing martyr and gazed at an unimpressed Sphinx. "If I am indeed to be granted only one opportunity to answer thee, O glorious Sphinx, I would say that only one answer can be imagined in the light of thy radiant face —"

"I will eat you from your swollen feet upward without doing you the favor of killing you first," she snarled, bristling.

"I would say the answer is you."

She drew her head back and to the side. "Do elaborate."

"Well, Sphinx, you obviously move on all fours at the moment. But when the man comes along who can solve your riddle, you will shed this … undeniably interesting hybrid form and become like a woman — a goddess, that is," he added, noticing her stiffen, "and, of course, marry your liberator. After many happy years together, he will die because he is mortal and you are not, but you will mourn him so devotedly that you'll start to walk with a limp and have to use a cane."

Very primly, the Sphinx began to count one set of claws with her opposite paw. "No one has ever produced such an imaginative answer before; but it has a problem. I will not assume your pathetic mortal form if anyone solves my riddle. I am cursed to hurl myself from yonder cliff, as my guardianship of this city will have been broken."

"How do you expect that to work?" asked a puzzled Oedipus.

She glared at him. "When one falls from a great height, the landing is often deadly. In my case it is certain to be, because my fate has been decreed so."

"But anatomically, that doesn't make sense! Look, when a man falls, his hands have an instinct to shoot forward and try to catch him." Oedipus demonstrated in slow motion for the Sphinx. "You have wings, so if you fall off of something, surely your wings have an instinct to spread and try to keep you airborne. I bet they'll do that if you fall off of that wall right now. Try it."

The Sphinx lifted one wing and looked at it slowly. Then she turned her eyes on Oedipus and watched him, expressionless.

"It's fine if you don't believe me. I just think that the way you've been told you're going to die doesn't make any sense. It's like my prophecy: that I'm going to kill my father and marry my mother.

I've left home, so how can I possibly do that if I'm not there? Your doom only overcomes you if you give up hope of doing anything about it."

"It is unfortunate that you will not live to find out if your theory is true."

"Or you could marry me and we could both find out," Oedipus said seriously.

She stood and unfurled her wings, throwing a shadow over the road. "You will not live to prove your theory, because you have failed your riddle."

"Actually, I haven't answered it yet. I only told you what I _would_ say, not what I _do_ say."

"Semantic equivocation will not help you here," smiled the Sphinx, and she extended her claws and leaped.


End file.
